Post Says New Study Proves Roosters Make Sun Rise
A new study by two imminent psychologists provides "prima facie evidence that roosters crowing in the morning signals in some way we don't yet understand for the sun to rise," according to The Washington Post.
"We can't be sure how they do it yet because that part of the mystery is still hidden, but we have no doubt they do do it," said Dave Bashenwright of the University of Virginia.
"We observed a random sample of 1,038 roosters crowing in 24 states over a period of six weeks," said Bashenwright, who conducted the study with Rajuman Makupafak of Harvard. "Without fail, every time the roosters crowed in the morning, the sun rose afterwards. The correlation is obvious, it's simply undeniable."
Bashenwright said he and Makupafak opted not to submit their study methodology or data to a peer-review process for publication in a scientific journal because "we know we're right, we saw the proof with our own eyes every time one of the roosters crowed."
Bashenwright and Makupafak contend their study provides important new insights about how the physical universe functions. "We saw the same result every time, regardless whether we were observing one of the control group roosters or one of the variable group roosters. They crowed and the sun came up."
The study means high school science curriculums and textbooks will now need to be revised, Makupafak said. "No more teaching those old myths about a big bang or an expanding universe or an intelligent design. The roosters do it and the old guard is just going to have to accept that fact," he said.
Post reporter Shankar Vedantum's front page story sparked demands from Frank Perdue, III, a poultry industry spokesman for "new respect and appreciation for the light and warmth made possible by our products." Perdue also called for an "imediate and substantial increase" in federal poultry subsidies.
Robert Smith, a NASA environmental statistician, cautioned observers not to "get too excited about this thing just yet because there may be an 'after therefore because of' fallacy lurking about in the results."
Bashenwright responded by noting that "NASA spends billions every year telling us we have to explore the limits of space. We say the answers are all right here if you just know where to look."
Earlier this week, Vedantum reported on another controversial study by a couple of pychologists who found that conservatives are inherently racists. Go here for that story. Michelle Malkin has a roundup of reactions to the earlier study here.
Amy Ridenour of the National Center for Public Policy Research does some mathematical analysis of the "conservatives are racists" study and finds problems with the sampling process, among much else.